Pogs are one of the most asinine things ever concocted by man. In the 90’s, these little circular pieces of cardboard were SOLD to poor, innocent, naive children as if they were actually worth something.  Truly an exercise of greed.

 

 

…But I kinda like em! Why? Simply put, there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to what they put on them. Really, the only rule is that they can’t be left white. With such an incredibly blank canvas, the door was opened to some really interesting and REALLY bizarre designs that almost make Pogs some kind of weird, twisted form of modern art.

 

 

You only need to glance at some of the artwork to realize that Pogs made absolutely zero sense. As if the idea of collecting cardboard circles wasn’t INSANE enough, they couldn’t be content to just put baseball players or something on them, they had to make it REALLY nuts.

 

 

I imagine a bunch of different companies made Pogs, as you can tell with the different styles that pop up hither and tither. Sometimes I dare to wonder what went through their heads as they decided what would grace these wonderfully crazy caps.

 

 

There are a lot of animals, and bugs, specifically. Everyone loves bugs.

 

 

The Yin and the Yang are common themes, as well as the 8 ball. As to the significance, I haven’t the slightest idea.

 

 

Skulls are also prominent, along with frequent use of the word “poison”.

 

 

They couldn’t even be bothered to clip this one correctly

 

 

Some are actually adverts or PSA’s. Yeah, because kids love those. Avoid the Noid!

 

 

Some have cool cartoons. Sorry if these images are blurry.

 

 

The further we go, the less sense they make. We are delving into a dangerous part of the human psyche. A horn-toad thing accompanied by the word “scary”? MAKES SENSE TO ME!

 

 

Whoever made this one obviously carried very ant-cow politics. They probably ate beef all the time, just because they hated cows so damn much that it gave them a sick, sadistic satisfaction.

 

 

Good thing this one had the word “octopus” written on it, otherwise I would have been stumped!

 

 

BOSS: JENKINS, GET IN HERE!

 

JENKINS: …Y-yes, s-s-sir?

 

BOSS: Listen Jenkins, we gotta make Pogs and gotta make ‘em NOW! Okay, first we need to figure out what kids these days are into. What do kids like?

 

JENKINS: …Um…chickens?

 

BOSS: CHICKENS?!?!

 

JENKINS: I dunno, sir!!! Like, weird turkey-bird things? M-maybe kids are into those…?

 

BOSS: Hmmm, chickens…. I like it! Print up 5000 turkey Pogs, 5000 chicken Pogs, and 2500 quail Pogs and have em shipped out to comic book stores ASAP!

 

JENKINS: Right away, Mr. Boss, sir!!!!

 

 

Get a grip!

 

 

God, this one. ACTION MAN. Kids love “Action Men”, whatever they are. I look at this one and I can hardly even believe what I’m seeing because it’s so ridiculous to me.

 

If I recall correctly, there was some kind of game you could play with Pogs that forced you to go out and actually interact with other kids in the neighborhood, but damn if I remember how to play it. I don’t know if I can ever bring myself to actually throw these out. Know what would be cool? Gluing them up all over the walls. Imagine, walking into a room and being surrounded by HUNDREDS of tiny, minimalistic paintings. What a crazy world we live in

 

 

Anyway, that’s Pogs!

Hi, I’m Max Gilardi, and video games are garbage. Here’s why:

 

REASON 8,438 WHY VIDEO GAMES SUCK: They care more about being artsy than they do about being fun.

 

…Kind of ironic, really, because as we all know video games are not an art form and they never will be. Why? Because video games suffer from the highly unfortunate fact that they are games. They’re not called video arts, are they? Video games are no more art than playing frisbee on the quad is art. The nature of video games being games is what holds them back from ever being art. You could make a video game NOT a game, but then it’s not a video game anymore.

 

…An actually screenshot from Ico, circa 2002. The low contrast of darks and lights makes the game seem misty, hazy, and dream-like. It also makes the game infurriatingly frustrating to play.

 

I love Ico but DAMN what the hell am I even looking at here? And how am I supposed to play the game if I can’t see anything? Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t RUIN the experience, as I said I do love Ico. But come on.

 

In case you were wondering, here’s your main character. I think? Yeah, that’s him.

 

 

…Here’s a game that was made about 100 goddamn years earlier. You’d have to be blind to not be able to see Mario. Good shit, right?

 

Anyway that’s just another reason games are GARBAGE.

 

Now here’s a tasty treat…

 

YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK: Video Games by Black Out Band

 

<3

Some fanart! This first baby was drawn by fellow flash aficionado and mutual well-wisher EGORAPTOR. He drew June from WGJ4K totally naked! If you’re under 18 don’t tell mommy and daddy I showed you a naughty picture.

Also you might wanna put on some shades before you look at these colors cause DAMN.

Okay this next one is by my ol’ buddy from back in the day SERGE. He drew Sal, Jake and Wendy. Check it out! Isn’t it cute? I love it

This last one is by BUDDYCOMICS and he drew Sal, Jake and Wendy as the Powerpuff girls!…

Can you believe it? Thanks guys! Okayloveyoubyebye

PS: Don’t forget you can follow MICKEY and JUNE on twitter!

~Max

 

Sorry for the downtime, some shit’s been going down at my host. The site’s a little glitchy but it’ll be smoothed out soon.

Everybody back to work!!!!

<3

OH Man this is so awesome I can’t believe it. There is a HOTDIGGEDYDEMON WIKI in production. Can you believe it? Cause I can’t! I just can’t believe it!

http://hotdiggedydemon.wikia.com

I laughed so hard at the first line of Jake’s entry; “Jake O’Brien is Sal’s best friend, or not, based on the way he treats him”. HA! Special thanks to Buddycomics for setting this bad boy up. Obviously there’s not a whole lot of content because it’s brand new, but it’ll grow. He told me the process will go a lot quicker if he has someone else helping him out, but NO FUNNY BUSINESS. Ukinojoe’s entry on Spooky and Kooky is exempt but other than that try to keep things serious. After all, we ALL know that wikipedia is the ultimate source of completely accurate information! 

Anyway I’m already working on episode 2 of WGJ4K. I love this series so much. I know what you’re thinking. “Max, how long are you gunna keep this up before you run out of ideas huh? HUH?”. WELL that shows how much YOU know because I already have 17 episodes written!!! Can you believe it? 

The next one features some very special guest stars! Don’t forget to follow Mickey on twitter.

~Max